Indian Road Rage – More Dangerous Than Accidents?

Driving on Indian roads is like being in a multiplayer video game... where no one reads the rules.

You're vibing to your playlist, and suddenly,

* An auto appears from nowhere.

* A biker brushes past like he’s swiping right on your mirror.

* Someone honks like their hand is stuck — or their soul left through the horn

And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse…

A Black Scorpio pulls up.

• Illegal dippers? Check.

• Tinted windows? Check.

• Three dudes named Bunty in the back? Definitely.

• Flashing headlights like it’s the F1 finale in Karol Bagh.

It’s enough to make anyone go full “Tu jaanta nahi mera baap kaun hai” monologue.

Before you start rolling down your window to deliver a TED Talk in anger, here’s the truth: Road rage doesn’t fix traffic. It just ruins your day.

So, here are 5 practical (Actually Useful) ways to avoid losing your cool behind the wheel:

1. Channel Your Inner Sharma Ji, Not Shouting Ji

Not everyone on the road has read the Motor Vehicles Act — or even the Stop sign.

Uncle in the WagonR?

He thinks he’s qualifying for Formula 1.

The biker with no helmet?

Practicing Road Rash IRL.

Don’t play their game. Stay calm like Sharma ji sipping chai at 5 PM sharp.

2. Ignore the Scorpio, Not Your Sanity

Black Scorpio. Loud horn. Flickering dippers.

The kind of car that overtakes from the left… while indicating right.

He’ll tailgate you. Flash dippers. Honk like you stole his biryani.

But bro, your job is not to respond. It’s to survive.

Smile. Take a deep breath & let him overtake.

Translate the rage into sarcasm. Your blood pressure will thank you. Let him overtake and feel like Vin Diesel from Delhi Drift.

3. Leave Early, Arrive Sane

Running late = Every red light feels like a personal attack.

So buffer 15–20 mins extra travel time if you live in a high-traffic zone.

More buffer = more patience = less road rage = healthier arteries.

Pro Tip: Make your car a “chill zone” — no work calls, no deadline pressure on the go.

4. Keep Snacks & Sass Handy

Angry + hungry = dangerous.

Carry a protein bar, a mint, or the OG — Parle-G.

Next time, a car cuts you off with no indicators,

Just pop a biscuit and say:

"Swag toh hai, driving school ka bill kahan gaya?"

5. Ignore Idiots Like You Ignore Relatives on WhatsApp Groups

People will drive like fools.

You don’t have to engage every time.

No eye contact, no arguing, no racing. Let them go ruin someone else’s day.

Imagine you’re in invisible mode. You’re just passing through. Peacefully.

Pro Tip: If it gets unsafe, pull over, breathe, and cool off. You owe yourself peace, not ego trips.

Because ego is expensive, peace is premium.

Final Thoughts:

Road rage in India is a trap — and the people provoking it?

Uncle with Bluetooth earpiece, biker cutting across 4 lanes, cabbie yelling “Oyeee!”... they're all part of the same daily circus.

You don’t need to join.

So next time someone flashes lights like they’re proposing marriage,

Or stares at you like you stole their parking spot in 2007, just sip your water, hum your song, & chill.

And Before You Get Offended... Relax Your Horn, Not Your Emotions

Chill, bro, we didn’t call you out.

Unless you are that Black Scorpio with illegal dippers and Bunty riding shotgun — in that case… fix your life.

This blog is pure satire.

And no car brands were harmed. No egos were targeted (intentionally).

We’re just exposing the daily madness of Indian roads — the unfiltered, brake-less, horn-blasting circus we all drive through.

So don’t take it personally.

Take a deep breath.

And maybe… take a left turn using an actual indicator this time?